Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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