Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
