So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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