R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish i was in the wii world.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
