That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
