I think my fart just growled at me.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
