well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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