Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
