so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
