well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
