whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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