nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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