You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
