Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
