NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
