im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
