My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
