No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
