i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
