dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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