U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
