So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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