living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
