Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
