I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
