y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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