Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
