dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
