The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
