this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
