Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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