shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
