So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
