Porn is love you can see.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
