Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
