hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
