Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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