I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
