dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need to get me chipped asap
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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