rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
