we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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