I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
