R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
