I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
