I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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