I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
