apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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