Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I died a long time ago.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
