1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
