well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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